Waiting,
waiting,
In restless, endless, impatience.
Starved, parched, craving.
Always at another man's whim.
Here I stand, a pile of tinder,
No flame.
Come now,
My love,
Let's light fires.
Fire frightens with ferocity,
Terror and sheer velocity,
But it sates my curiousity,
No flame.
Come now,
My love,
Let's light fires.
You don't know my frustration,
Spark after spark,
Yet no flame to warm my chilled soul,
Frostbitten heart.
I strike,
I strike,
I strike again,
In desperation, thirst for flame.
And then a cold wind,
Or cruel rain,
Snuffs out what I've made.
No flame.
Come now,
My love,
Let's light fires.
I fear colder times,
Harder times,
With no light in the chill of midnight,
The sun is going down,
down.
down.
I crave my fire now.
I want warmth,
Heat,
Burn,
Anything.
Anything to save me from this unrelenting freeze.
No flame.
Come now,
My love,
Let's light fires.
3 comments:
I don't know if the first two lines work very well. Start with the third line.
Love the heat and the cold.
My favourite part was probably the spark.
Some interesting formatting in Lighting Fires.
Some of the adjectives are great like "cruel rain" and "chilled soul".
And the desperation really shows out in the last stanza.
The midnight line is haunting.
"With no light in the chill of midnight".
I'm still not sure about the particular stylistic choice of whole sentences (which tend to be prosy) versus fragments (which can light up a poem and break it up).
"Come now
My love
Let's light fires".
And I noticed each stanza was dedicated to a feeling/emotion/stage. For example: the first stanza is about passion; the second about frustration; then fear. And then there's the warmth and desire and closeness in the last stanza.
I've changed the first stanza slightly - what say you?
I'm struck by this poem, actually. I've never written such a close metaphor to a certain aspect of my life. Fire, love, one and the same. It's something I really like about Taylor Swift's new album, and why I've written so much about it - it focuses on a particular, ignored part of the complicated confusion that makes up love, and how it (doesn't) fit in with society.
Noticed the revision of the first stanza. Yes, you did take the lines out: and added some good ones in. They really carry the poem's energy.
The first verse is very powerful now and it has a strong message of things unspoken.
Great to write about ignored things! And love ignored can be like a tinder without a charge or a purpose. Love confused...
Keep finding and writing close metaphors. The burning! The tension!
(And I could have seen the Taylor Swift inspiration).
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