I can only explain the first ten.

Now Playing: Good Intent by Kimbra (I know you didn't mean it boy, you meant so well)

Now, you're going to have to forgive me for going all American on y'all. I've been talking too much to my friend in Texas lately. And lbs...work in perfect...tens.

You'll get what I mean in a minute.

I was steadily gaining weight from about twelve until just before I turned sixteen. Part of it is just growing up - growth spurts and hormonal weight gain and etc. But most of it was that I was a fat little pig who drowned all her sorrows in ramen noodles. I was 105lbs at about eleven or twelve, and by the time I got back from eating my way through the Asian continent last summer I was 130lbs.

Yes, I gained 25lbs. In my defence, it sounds a lot better in kilograms.

I made my ball dress when I was fourteen, and about 110lbs. I deliberately made it a little bigger, and very very adjustable. But by the time ball came around two years later, I was in danger of not fitting in to my ball dress - or, at least, looking terrible in it.

So I got back, and I worked out every day. It was torture - partly because I am very very unfit, but mostly because I am very very lazy. I wouldn't eat any carbs after sunset, and in a rice-worshipping Asian family that is kind of...hard. I wouldn't look at junk food. The only thing I could do when I was upset was walk, work out furiously, or cry my eyes out. My days of ramen binges - I once at three packets of those really big Korean noodles in one go - were over.

But the hard work paid off. I wasn't skinny, but I lost 10lbs before the ball and with the help of a bustier everything was smooth and nice.

I lost 10lbs through blood sweat and tears. But now it's been nearly six months since the ball and I've somehow managed to lose...another 10lbs.

The thing is, I stopped actively losing weight after the ball. Mostly because I had to give in - I was having dreams about steak and french fries. I also knew that it was year twelve, and I didn't have time to work out as much as I liked. I thought if I could stay at 120lbs and then start losing weight again after exams, that would be great.

But no. Another 10lbs have slipped away, despite eating ramen (only once a week, I swear), sharing Cokes with my friends (and getting Cokes bought for me by lovely guys) and generally eating whatever I like. The only rule that I've strictly observed is that I only eat when I'm hungry - which means I have skipped lunch on more than one occasion. I haven't worked out for God knows how long, and my daily commute on the highly inefficient public transport system only started recently.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there is NO LEGITIMATE REASON AS TO HOW I'VE LOST 10lbs. I remember, vividly, pushing myself to lose weight, watching the numbers ever so slowly crawl down, being depressed when they creeped up again every time I so much as looked at something that wasn't a salad. And then the exact amount of weight has just kind of melted off and I don't know how or why or when...where does 10lbs of body mass go? Sometimes I think it's just hiding under my bed and I'll wake up one day fat again. But now I'm back to my old foodie, anti-exercise self and I'm...dare I say it? Skinny. Well, skinnier.

Which is bloody inconvenient, to tell you the truth. I can't wear school skirts anymore, and when I put on my school shorts there's a really big gap between my back and the waistline. I have about two pairs of pants that fit me, and both of them are pyjamas. When I go out, I always wear dresses - I mean, I like dresses, but they're...um...the only things that fit me now. Because they're hand me downs. From my Asian Miranda Kerr sister.

So, yeah. I've lost 20lbs. But I can really only explain the first ten.