"I don't think that being a strong person is about ignoring your emotions and fighting your feelings. Putting on a brave face doesn't mean you're a brave person. That's why everybody in my life knows everything that I'm going through. I can't hide anything from them. People need to realise that being open isn't the same as being weak."

- Taylor Swift

Friday, April 27, 2012

what is on my mind, here and now, that i cannot for the life of me transform into a coherent blog post.

1. According to the political compass I'm sort of between anarcho-communist and anarcho-socialist. Which sounds awesome, even if I have no idea what that means.

2. I haven't used shampoo for two months.

3. A couple of years ago I dug up this little book from pre-primary where each child had drawn a picture with their name in the corner and had dictated some random line about hopes for the future. Mine has my name written like Lenoardo da Vinci on crack and apparently 'I want to be a gardener'. It is the cutest thing I have ever seen.

4. If someone gave me a big jar of peanut butter for a graduation/going away gift, I would be over the Moon to Mars.

5. Apparently, I am a bit of a flirt.

6. I can be massively extroverted or equally introverted, depending who's company.

7. My hair was addicted to caffeine, and is still throwing a tantrum now that I've quit coffee cold turkey. I try and make up for it by doing daily black tea rinses.

8. I maintain you can believe in free love and monogamy simultaneously. Just as I think that society has proven you can be a slut and a virgin at the same time.

9. If the world communicated purely through touch-typing life would just be all-around amazing. I hate being tongue tied.

10. I like being provocative. It's the same as being proactive, only infinitely more efficient.

11. I only dream when I laugh myself to sleep.

12. My mother says that my great love of babies and children started when I was a baby myself; because I was small and frail after my first surgeries, I was put in the nursery when I should have been with the toddlers in daycare, and I would spend all day looking after babies.

13. I hardly agree with anyone but I respect anyone with intelligence.

14. I'm afraid to say that I've yet to find someone fearless.

15. I love artists and musicians and writers and actors because I spend my life with teenagers with the emotional capacity of a teaspoon. I love people who feel - I love people who love and hate and aren't afraid to tell the world how they feel.

16. It is virtually impossible to weird me out. Seriously. I'd like to find someone who could honestly say the same.

17. I always read in the bath and sing in the shower. Otherwise I might actually die of boredom.

18. I collect party dresses. Whenever a social or birthday party swings around I spend ages trying them all on.

19. An unspoken motivation for experimenting with no-poo is that I've never understood why shampoo labels - or any label, really - has to be so damn complicated. Why must you put hydrogenated purified oxygenated extract of refined oats in sodium laureth sulfate and call it 'hypoallergenic' when you could just wash your hair with porridge and not kill yourself?

20. I've always been afraid of people. I never know what they're thinking until it's too late. I love talking because I would hate people to not know what's going through my head. It just doesn't seem fair.

21. A side effect of being a lit freak is that I read into everything far too much. Someone once told me it was cute. I'm sure my sister would beg to differ. But the reason why my blog is stuffed full of inside jokes, double entendres and hidden messages is because I really hope that there are people out there who do that, too.

22. I have an INFP personality, which is an idealistic personality with a strong dislike of criticism, conflict and hard facts. I am actually quite introverted - most people don't realize that, although I am comfortable with being loud and open, a much larger part of my personality is hidden and there are only a few people who could claim to know me really well. Most people only see me as an ESTJ personality, which is an extroverted personality, which is a common 'business suit' that INFP personalities wear. 

23. I suppose you could say I am attention-seeking in a way. I don't mean that in a bad way; I just don't want to be a wallflower. But I don't want people to look at me; I want people to think of me.

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