open dialogue

Now Playing: Settle Down (Live at Spotify) by Kimbra (stars so light and stars so bright, first star I see tonight)

So one reason why I'm suddenly talking about sexuality is that I want to become more involved in the sex positive movement (click here for the uninitiated) and my blog is the best way to do that. The second reason is that this is just all this stuff that I've wanted to talk about for so long but, sadly, I was silenced by the societal shame and stigma surrounding sexuality (that was way to many s's in one sentence...). But the main reason is that sexuality is such a huge taboo, which is ridiculous because it is such a huge part of us as human beings, and all around me are the effects of this taboo status - the status of women, attitudes towards gender, homophobia...it's driving me insane. And the only cure for ignorance?

Open dialogue.

People are shocked that I am such a diehard feminist and a hardcore atheist and I get so angsty about racism when...most of my friends are white and Christian. Or white and white collar and male. Or something that seems totally antithetical to my beliefs.

Well firstly, just because people have these labels doesn't mean we can throw any stereotype we like at them - I'm Asian and I love literature and dirty jokes, which is pretty non-conformist according to retards who think Asians are only turned on by algebra. My white and Christian friends are actually the most curious about my beliefs as a feminist and as an atheist, and we have lots of sophisticated civilized conversations about our differences in opinion - and above and beyond that, we're still friends and we're united by things like boy talk and girl talk and period talk and just...talking. I guess the thing I have in common with most of my friends is that we all talk a lot. My 'white white collar male friend' is actually the most supportive person I've met of my beliefs and who I am and how I feel and etc etc, and is one of the main reasons why I've got this newfound strength to write about all these 'taboo' topics. So yeah. Don't judge a book by its cover, don't judge people by their colour, and don't judge my friends by their collar.

See what I did there?

The main objection I have to religion is not the fact that I genuinely believe there is no God, no heaven, no afterlife, no karma, whatever - it's the fact that religion prevents and actively discourages open dialogue. If you look at religious communities there is huge censorship of the internet and books and media - the Vatican has a list of banned authors, many of which are the big guns of Enlightenment thinking like Descartes and Voltaire and feminists like Simone de Beauvoir. This censorship allows the indoctrination of hateful, anachronistic ideology with no alternative - it's either hate fags or...hate fags. People who are cut off from the world and have limited access to alternate perspectives...they don't change, they don't learn, and they don't evolve.

I'm so sick and tired of people saying 'The Bible says so' or 'I just believe that' or 'the church thinks' or 'God doesn't say that' etc etc etc. As an atheist, I have to back up everything I say with fact, with reason, with statistics and evidence and experience and polemic - and a fucking brain! I don't have a book I can wave around to pass off any shit that pops into my head as legitimate intelligent ideology! I haven't got some big guy in the clouds to back me up! If you believe something for religious reasons, then, well, fine. But if you can't think of a real reason to reject change and progress...I just don't think the Bible cuts it as a bibliography.

A long long time ago in a galaxy far far away science and religion worked in harmony and evolved in sync with each other as knowledge and spirituality moved with the times. Not any more. Despite all that we know and all that we are learning about the human body, and the earth, about science and the universe, religion still clings onto shit we believed in hundreds, even thousands of years ago. If medicine never moved on from ancient times, I wouldn't be here.

Not that you'd miss me, but anyway.

One of my friends, who is a Christian, borrowed my copy of Princesses and Pornstars and I was all too eager to lend it. Maybe my friend will never become a raging angsty undateable unfuckable feminist like me. Maybe my friend will always be faithful to the Church and find solace in spirituality when the going gets tough. But the important thing is that she is open to new ideas, to new opinion, doesn't block her ears and scream THE BIBLE SAYS SO every time we have a conflict of conscience.  There's a difference between faith and ignorance, and it's important that everyone - no matter what religion, or absence of religion - recognises that.

I've only just realized how important open dialogue is when I just recently became active in the sex positive movement. I've been wrestling in my head the abortion debate for a long time and finally came up with my own stance, which is mostly pro-life: I supported abortion in cases of rape, of incest, of severe congenital defects or for the sake of maternal health. I didn't support what I call 'abortion for convenience' - abortion as a form of contraception.

But Laci Green from Sex+ points out that women come from all walks of life and the ones who seek abortions seek it for a whole host of reasons in a wide array of circumstances, and that whilst we may take a moral perspective, as sex positive activists it is our duty to provide something that is safe, legal and stigma free, and leave people free to choose. For myself personally I might make choices as to whether an abortion is appropriate, but I have no right to make that judgement for other reasons. And abortions, just like pre-marital sex or alternate sexual orientations, will be pursued with or without societal approval, and in the case of abortion this can lead to increased mortality rates as people attempt to do self abortion or turn to backyard abortion clinics. Although this matter is slightly complicated because it does involve the rights of the unborn child and all of that...it's a perspective I never considered before, and never would have come across without open dialogue.

Religions and regimes the world over will always use censorship to oppose open dialogue. And radicals like me...we don't want to change your mind. We want intelligence and education to do that for you.