the strength of femininity

Now Playing: Plain Gold Ring by Kimbra (he belonged to someone but not me, on his hand he wore a plain gold ring)

The main problem I find with feminism and some feminists is that people are, or are perceived to be, rejecting femininity.

I know femininity is a societal construct. I know that there is nothing intrinsically feminine about wearing dresses and lipstick. I know that we are not biologically designed for high heels and lacy lingerie. But, nonetheless, in our society these things symbolize FEMININITY, that I AM FEMALE - if not in terms of sex then definitely in terms of gender. And if you don't find anything feminine appealing then don't wear dresses and don't wear heels and don't wear makeup. But if you do - don't be ashamed of it!

I don't like the idea that in order to 'empower' women or gain women's rights we must pretend to be men. Masculinity is a societal construct just as much as femininity is, and has equal if not greater negative impacts. I do not understand what power is gained by rejecting femininity and embracing masculinity. It's like turning down McDonald's in favour of KFC down the road. If you like fried chicken better then go ahead, but don't expect to lose any weight because of your drastic lifestyle choices.

I love wearing sundresses. I love the freedom of sundresses - seriously. You just throw one on and go, you don't have to match it with anything. If you haven't shaved your legs you wear midcalf or ankle length dresses. If you want to go wading you just pull the hem up to your knees. If you're cold you wear a cardi. If you want to go running wear Converses.

Total. Freedom.

But then there's the way that sundresses drift and float in the breeze. There's something very feminine about floral prints and spaghetti straps and low necklines. When I get hugs I can feel how warm people are through the fabric.

I am a woman. And that is very, very cool.

I don't want being a woman to define every single part of me. I get so tired of people harping on about the FIRST WOMAN TO HOLD X POST or a WOMAN PRESIDENT or whatever. I just feel like we're treated as a gender, not as people. But I don't want people to forget that I'm a woman, either, because it is an intrinsic part of me.

I know, I'm a contradictory bastard.

I find strength in femininity because that is what I am. I love being pretty. I love being short and small and snuggly. I love having long hair and I love being looked at. I like flattery and chivalry but that doesn't make me any less of a feminist. There is no contradiction between being female, being feminine, and being a feminist. I think some people forget that.

I don't find the pill particularly liberating. I don't find fucking up hormones and inducing cancer and hormonal-related mental disorders particularly empowering. I don't feel empowered when I dress like a guy - which I have done on multiple occasions in deluded attempts to be taken seriously. I don't appreciate women trying to 'act tough' when they slam pregnancy, motherhood, breastfeeding and other things that are so intrinsically female. I think it's amazing that my body can create and feed a new life. If anything, it's something women have that kind of trumps men in terms of wow factor. Just saying.

Feminism is not a club or a church. There are no rules. There is no dress code. I'm a feminist in sundresses who dreams of one day having baby bliss. So what?