you feminist?

Now Playing: Self Esteem by Garfunkel and Oates (my self esteem's not low enough to date you, it's so close but not quite there, just give me some time to get a little more desperate and you and me could make an awesome pair) 

So what is feminism?

I've said this over and over and over and over again but just randomly I asked one of my classmates what he thought feminism was and he was spewing all this crap about female domination and making men into sex slaves and blah blah blah blah blah.

Feminism is the promotion of women's rights in the belief that everyone has the right to gender equality.

See, I think people do know this, but they'd rather make us out to be psycho man-hating baby-killing freaks instead of giving up the benefits of the subjugation of women by patriarchy.

A lot of people, in response to my feminist beliefs, start spouting all this crap about HOW MEN HAVE IT SO BAD TOO. The biggest one is 'men get raped too'. Uh...yeah. I know. But it female-to-male or male-to-male rape is so rare as to be statistically insignificant, and shouldn't be used as an excuse to make rape a gender-neutral crime (its not) or to belittle efforts to make people realize that rape prevention doesn't start with women - it starts with men.

But that's another story.

Feminism and masculism aren't opposing ideologies - they actually go hand in hand in that they both promote gender equality. Just because I support women's rights doesn't mean I don't recognise the misandry and discrimination against men - people seem to think that just because I act in the interests of women I act against the interests of men, when in reality it is in the interests of everyone, regardless of gender or gender identification or sexual orientation, to have gender equality.

A brief history of feminism is that if you look at many ancient, pre Judeo-Christian, often matriarchal cultures with polytheistic religions and spiritual ties to the earth and nature, women were held in very high esteem, and there were fewer taboos over female sexuality and the female body. A combination of patriarchy, religion, ignorance and an overemphasis on the traditional gender roles of hunter/gatherer has led to the degeneration of the status of women in society.

Proto-feminism is feminism before feminism as an ideology was widely accepted. Proto-feminists include Aspasia of Milesia, Anne Boleyn, Joan of Arc - women who challenged social norms and were often punished for it. Proto-feminists were women who stood up, alone, to challenge the blatant sexism and discrimination of religion, of society, of men telling women what they should do and how they should dress and think and act and feel.

The first wave of feminism, known as the suffragette movement, is associated with the suffragette movement in which women fought for the right to vote. Other concerns of first wave feminism included the right to choose one's spouse and the right to divorce, and the right to inherit and own property in one's own right regardless of gender or marital status. Suffragettes were mocked mercilessly and accused of rejecting femininity and the call to motherhood, and the stereotypical image was of an old, childless, unattractive woman completely stripped of any femininity or sexuality - the term 'bluestocking' refers to an intellectual, educated woman to imply that these women didn't comply to the social pressures of fashion and body image (unfashionable blue woolen stockings instead of fashionable black silk stockings). There are also many cases of suffragettes being pushed to extreme measures such as committing suicide and going on hunger strikes, and they were often committed to prisons or mental institutions. Today nearly all countries have women's suffrage.

The second wave of feminism, known as the sexual revolution, is associated with the fight for equal pay, equitable working conditions and equal opportunities for men and women and is part of the social revolutions of the 60s and 70s. The second wave of feminism is when different branches of feminism began to emerge - black feminism, Christian feminism, atheist feminism, the list goes on. The second wave of feminism also saw the rejection of sex-segregated clothing - women wearing more masculine clothes like jeans and suits instead of just dresses - and the fight for reproductive rights with the commercial release of the oral contraceptive. The second wave of feminism also began the ongoing battle for social equality and the beginning of the rejection of taboos associated with the female body.The second wave of feminism is also linked with the fight for gay rights, which is also still ongoing. In Australia the average female salary is 84% of the average male salary, and women provide two thirds of the world's labour but earn 10% of the world's profit. The workplace is still a place of sexual discrimination and there are still an absurd amount of myths and taboos concerning the female body and the female biological function.

The third wave of feminism is what we are in today. It is often inaccurately described as 'post-feminism' by people who believe that 'the fight is over' when in reality the gains made by the suffragettes are only the tip of the iceberg and many of the ambitions of the second wave feminists are as of yet still unaccomplished. The goal of third wave feminism, in my opinion, is to recognise that equality before the law isn't necessarily equality within society, and to try and change that. The third wave of feminism is more of a struggle, in my opinion, because sexism isn't blatant in the law, but rather rampant in society, in the unspoken conventions, the suffocating social mores, the oppression of taboos and stigmatization. There is also the problem in that the issues facing third wave feminists aren't black and white, and there's lots of division amongst feminists - pro-porn and anti-porn, pro-live vs. pro-choice. The third wave of feminism is also attacked by the church and by society as 'fighting a won battle' or 'taking things too far', when in reality the struggle for gender equality is far from over.

As I've said, there are lots of different types of feminism, and many differing and sometimes conflicting ideologies associated with feminism. I personally identify as a lipstick feminist, a sex-positive feminist, and an atheist feminist.

Lipstick feminism rejects the stereotype of 'ugly feminists' and 'anti-sex feminists' and asserts that the embracing of femininity, female sexuality and the female biological function is an important part of empowering women. I personally believe that the common misconception that women only gain 'strength' by being masculine and rejecting femininity is the antithesis of empowering women, because women are inherently female and there's something sexist about only feeling strong by pretending to be men, especially for straight, cisgender women. Femininity has been corrupted and oversexualized by patriarchy, but it can be a source of strength and expression.

The sex-positive movement asserts that human sexuality is natural, normal, healthy and beautiful, and that all people have the right to safe, legal and open sexual expression. Sex-positive feminists believe that there is no moral objection to sex or sexuality beyond the need to stress the importance of safety and informed consent. As a sex-positive feminist I don't believe that religion should have any say in legal matters concerning sex or relationships - like gay marriage - and I don't believe that abstinence-based sex education works, because it denies that teenagers are sexual beings (hormones are immune to religion) and the ignorance spread by withholding information about sex leads to body issues and myths and stigmatism and shame and unwanted pregnancy and homophobia and rape and sexually transmitted diseases. Being sex positive is being honest and open about sexuality, providing the facts and the facilities, and letting people make their own choices.

Atheist feminism is the belief that most major religions are inherently sexist, and that many religions promote sexism and discriminatory ideology under the guise of 'faith' or 'spirituality'. The objection I have to religion is that religious beliefs is simply a snapshot of the societal conventions of a particular time and place, and are often incongruent with the modern world and what we now know about humanity and sexuality, amongst other things. The other objection I have to religion is that religion provides anachronistic, discriminatory ideals protection from questioning, or the need to explain itself - it is a toxic way to spread ideas without people stopping and thinking...why? Why must I think this? Why is this wrong and that right?

I have been told to my face that the reason why I don't have a boyfriend is because I'm a feminist, and I openly go around talking about feminism and reading feminist texts. Maybe. A lot of boys think that I'm one of those crazy psycho gynocentrists, or that I'm not interested in boys or sex or whatever - as if being enlightened negates the presence of hormones or nerve endings or emotions. I'm constantly at loggerheads with boys and most of them probably think I'm more trouble than I'm worth.

I used to beat myself up about it, really, I did. I believe in feminism so passionately, it's such a huge part of me, as a woman and as a person and as a student, that I simply couldn't 'stop' being feminist - I was a feminist before I even knew what feminism was. But it made me feel like nobody understood me, no-one was willing to accept this part of me, that somehow standing up for my rights and for the rights of others made me unworthy.

It was only this year that I realized that I don't want to date someone who doesn't want to date a feminist. My self esteem's not low enough to go out with someone who's a sexist patriarchal chauvinist pig, no matter what else. I've grown up enough and met enough people to realize that my strength is seen by the people who love me as something beautiful and endearing and empowering. I realized that changing myself or hiding who I am or what I think might get me more attention, but not the kind of attention that I want. I'm a feminist, and proud of it. Being a feminist might be considered by some as justifiable grounds for rejection, but trust me, you'll never meet another girl like me. For better, for worse, it takes guts to be someone like me.

You feminist? You bet. You got a problem with that?