The Gay Marriage Debate

Now Playing: I'm Not Calling You a Liar by Florence + The Machine (and when you kiss me I am happy enough to die)

Think about the gay marriage debate this way.

It doesn't matter if you 'agree' with it or not. It doesn't matter if you think homosexuality is 'good' or 'bad'. It doesn't matter if you're religious or not, or if your religion forbids or tolerates homosexuality. Gay marriage should be legal.

You know why? Because it is a legal matter.

I am not religious. I don't see myself converting to any religion at all at any point in my future. Obviously, that might change. But for now, I am very happy as an atheist. I am at peace with my own personal beliefs and values, and I've never violated them. As part of this, when I get married, I would get married in a civil ceremony; i.e. a marriage that is legally, but not religiously binding. It's still a marriage. It's still a wedding. It's still husband and wife. Marriage is still very, very important to me; I'm just like any other teenage girl in that I've always dreamed of a beautiful wedding. I just don't want to be dragged down an aisle like a cow at a market and given away like a pretty posession, or forced to endure hours and hours of sermons from a religion that probably doesn't approve of my existence.

I was shocked when I realized that very few people understand the concept of civil marriage. I guess it's a reflection of the ridiculously heavy Judeo-Christian influence on Australian society, but you don't actually have to get married by a priest, and you most definitely don't have to get married in a church. Can you believe I actually had a massive fight with someone over this that only ended when he googled 'civil marriage' and sheepishly conceded defeat? The reason why marriages - all marriages, from all religions or from no religion - is recognised is because there are two parts to a marriage; the religious part, and the legal part. You are religiously married when you say 'I do'. Somewhat unromantically, you are legally married when you sign on the dotted line. Why else do you think there is the Signing of the Registry?

Why am I harping on about this? Because marriage can be considered as a purely legal matter. It is everyone's right to marry whomever they choose, and marriage confers upon someone the rights and responsibilities every couple has the right to enjoy. And because there is no legal objection to homosexuality, there should be no legal objection to gay marriage.

There are some people out there who say that they agree with 'civil union', but not 'marriage' for gay people; something that just reinforces the fact that people still only consider marriage to be a religious convenant, and that people don't understand the concept of civil marriage. There is no real difference between 'civil union' and 'civil marriage', just as there is no real difference between 'marriage' and a 'de facto' relationship; not under Australian law, anyway. But it's a matter of human dignity. If you want to get married, get married, and call it 'marriage'. I don't see anyone trying to convince conservative Christians to live in sin under the pretext that there isn't much difference between a 'marriage' and a 'common law marriage'.   

As for people who say that they don't agree with homosexuality, or gay marriage, it...really isn't any of their business, to put it frankly. Put it this way. Legally, I am allowed to live with someone, and have premarital sex or whatever; and I know some people don't believe in that, and that's fine. We're not forcing anyone to sleep around, just like we're not forcing anyone to be gay. But these people shouldn't have a say in another person's personal life; as citizens, we don't have the right to choose who other citizens can and can't marry.

As a matter of religious freedom, I respect the right of religious groups to refuse to conduct gay marriages. It doesn't matter what you think, or believe, or feel; as a matter of human dignity, gay marriage should be legal, everywhere.