"I don't think that being a strong person is about ignoring your emotions and fighting your feelings. Putting on a brave face doesn't mean you're a brave person. That's why everybody in my life knows everything that I'm going through. I can't hide anything from them. People need to realise that being open isn't the same as being weak."

- Taylor Swift

Thursday, June 14, 2012

so I guess I'm not such a history bug after all.

Now Playing: Teenage Dream by Katy Perry (no regrets, just love...we'll be young forever.)

So I guess I'm not such a history bug after all.

I've been in love with history since forever. I've always loved reading about different people, what they did, how they thought, who they were. I love Elizabeth I and Catherine II and Lucrezia Borgia. I love Servilia Capionis and Cleopatra and Aspasia of Milesia. I love Joan of Arc and Anne Boleyn and Giulia Farnese.

Can you see the trend happening ;P?

It's not just women. It's people. I love studying people. I love studying how people interact, how a particular socio-historical context allows this to be heroic but that to be demonized. I want to know what people wore, what they ate, how they worshipped, how they expressed and celebrated love, rage, grief. I want to know how cultures evolved, how empires rose and fell. And I don't want to put a damn date to it, and I don't want to spend my life as a historian bitching about how other historians could have done their job better. I feel like historical context is being used to teach, as opposed to being taught history - you know what I mean? I don't care how to write a document study evaluating the validity of this or that historian, especially as the questions change every semester. History, in my experience, has just been about sucking up to examiners and trying to sound clever, or as clever as you can when you're a stressed high school student challenging the published works of an esteemed university professor.

I've never really been able to read purist history. I can't always do it. Even Catherine II's memoirs, which I adore, can get tedious at times. I get the basics of a particular era online; chronology and context and so on - and then I dive into historical fiction; I don't like revisionist history, and sometimes the anachronisms and inaccuracies of historical fiction can set my teeth on edge, but historical fiction does what a history textbook cannot; it delves into the psychology of historical figures, their personalities, their desires. That's the interesting part. Colleen McCullough is my favourite author because she never actually changes anything - she takes what we know, which is somewhat limited given the Masters of Rome series is set so very long ago - and then provides a real psychological analysis of the characters, elaborated by riveting dialogue and vivid prose. History, in my head, plays like a movie. It's beautiful.  

For a long time I thought I would study history. I thought history was truly my calling. Turns out...it isn't, not really. I love history, but only for the people, and how what they did impacted and was impacted by the greater social, historical, political and economic context. And I love how people and cultures change and adapt in the here and now, too.

I don't really think MEMS is my thing. I looked long and hard at the course and realized that most of the units I liked I could do as part of my English degree, or as electives. Other than that, it's not really my passion. I've never been one to remember dates or to pick apart historians. I want to study people, understand people. People are my passion.

This isn't really a change of heart. I've always known what I've wanted to do, I just couldn't put a name to it. I thought MEMS would have done it but it just won't do. At the moment, aside from my beloved English and English Literature, I study Ancient History, Modern History, Politics and Law and Psychology. Aside from the first two, I can hardly say I am brilliant at any of them. I keep getting told off for going off topic, whereas for English, I am in my element. And I know why. In English, especially in the creative writing sections, I write about people. I know people, I love people. I get people. Whenever I try and study for psychology I always drift off into sociology; the one essay I did really well in wasn't really psychology at all, not the neurobiology element of it; it was all sociology. I fell in love with sociology without realizing it. Finally, I gave in and searched for 'sociology' on the UWA website; my university of choice, and voila! I found Anthropology and Sociology. I was flipping through the UWA Course Outline and I absolutely fell in love with Anthropology and Sociology, which is a BA major. Within this degree, I can study anthropology, social anthropology and sociology. Anthropology is the academic study of humanity; sociology is the scientific study of society. HOW COOL IS THAT???

It looks really interesting, and I think it will go really well with the English degree I'm planning to do.

Things change. I can change, and I can change things.

1 comment:

Adelaide Dupont said...

"Things change. I can change, and I can change things". Just noted what you said about how cultures and people change and adapt over time, and how that was an area of interest.

Sociology - I know less about anthropology - is a great one, for theory and practice both. And it is very vocational - probably the most of the social sciences. Yes, it does require clear writing and clear thinking.

Can understand about not picking apart historians - or historical methodologies/documentation.

If people past and present are your passion, and understanding them your goal ...

Do have a few sociological relations and connections. (who study or have studied it as a baccalaureate-level subject one from Canterbury University, and another from Pennsylvania).

What about the environmental context?

Besides Colleen McCullough, what other historical fiction has caught your eye?

What are you thinking about which is anthropological?

And I have read that "Sociology is a hands-on profession" which ties in with the other post of today.

(I used to say: "not all of psychology is neurobiology" - I'd study anatomy, physiology and all the rest).

Good luck!