"I don't think that being a strong person is about ignoring your emotions and fighting your feelings. Putting on a brave face doesn't mean you're a brave person. That's why everybody in my life knows everything that I'm going through. I can't hide anything from them. People need to realise that being open isn't the same as being weak."

- Taylor Swift

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Hardest of Hearts

One of the things that I hate about myself is that I don't always have the confidence to stand up for myself and tell people that this is not right, this is not fair, that you've hurt me and I deserve better. I feel like I let people get away with far too much sometimes, because even when they apologise I'm always the first to brush everything aside. The biggest part of this is that I get hurt by the most unintentional and, often, irrational things; and because I know how petty my complaint is and how disproportionate my emotions are to things, I've learnt to keep my mouth shut for better or for worse. This is probably exacerbated by the fact that I hang out with a lot of boys, and it's mostly boys and the silly tactless things they do that can sometimes cut deep. But I'm terrified of confrontations or, worse, losing what I have. I'm silently seething at most people I know, but I only bring up things that I feel are really justified.

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