One of the things that I hate about myself is that I don't always have
the confidence to stand up for myself and tell people that this is not
right, this is not fair, that you've hurt me and I deserve better. I
feel like I let people get away with far too much sometimes, because
even when they apologise I'm always the first to brush everything aside.
The biggest part of this is that I get hurt by the most unintentional
and, often, irrational things; and because I know how petty my complaint
is and how disproportionate my emotions are to things, I've learnt to
keep my mouth shut for better or for worse. This is probably exacerbated
by the fact that I hang out with a lot of boys, and it's mostly boys
and the silly tactless things they do that can sometimes cut deep. But
I'm terrified of confrontations or, worse, losing what I have. I'm
silently seething at most people I know, but I only bring up things that
I feel are really justified.
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