Now Playing: Kiss With a Fist by Florence + the Machine (you hit me once, I hit you back, you gave a kick, I gave a slap, you smashed a plate over my head then I set fire to our bed.)
I am terrified of waiters. By extension, I am also terrified of air hostesses, and generally any stranger I have to go up to to ask for help. Customer service shits me. Every time I'm in a shop if I see someone in a uniform I run away. I can't look them in the eye.What's seriously annoying is that employees in boutiques and bra shops don't even wear a fricking uniform most of the time, and they jump out at you like a fricking ninja with random things you could never say in normal conversation, like 'I FOUND THAT 12B FOR YOU LOVE, DO YOU WANT ME TO COME IN AND HAVE A LOOK???'
Social awkwardness for the win.
What can you say? You're demanding information, they're holding you at ransom with that little nugget of knowledge that you really, really need - like 'could we have the Cashew Chicken without the cashews or chicken?' or 'can I have a drink before I die of PMS because I look so terrible on planes I could probably pass for 46.' You can't flirt with them, you can't get to know them, and they sure as hell don't make you laugh.
That is my three criteria. I can be as endearing and enchanting and enigmatic as the next young, innocent, flirty teenager with people I can flirt with, get to know, and make me laugh. The people I love best are people I flirt with, know pretty well, and who make me laugh. Any situation where I cannot do all or any of the above, I go batshit crazy.
I don't know why I'm telling you this. It's not as if I could make myself any less appealing...