"I don't think that being a strong person is about ignoring your emotions and fighting your feelings. Putting on a brave face doesn't mean you're a brave person. That's why everybody in my life knows everything that I'm going through. I can't hide anything from them. People need to realise that being open isn't the same as being weak."

- Taylor Swift

Saturday, June 09, 2012

Now Playing: I'm Not Calling You a Liar by Florence + The Machine (I love you so much I'm gonna let you kill me)

It's funny how during exams all I wanted to do was eat and dress up and go out and watch movies...

And now I feel almost bad, not studying ;P

Year twelve is a rollercoaster. It's not just the endless essays and assignments and exams and passing and failing and all of that. It's different, this year. For me, anyway. I am much more myself, much more open, much more raw and vulnerable. It's...doing weird things.

I'm more confident. I'm not afraid to lose people by being who I am. If they walk away, well, it's their loss. Because if you're not being yourself, and they love someone who isn't you...well then, you don't have them, anyway. I might not be the most pretty, popular kid out there, but I'm not that superficial. I can offer things that other teenagers can't even wrap their heads around. Loyalty. Trust. Respect. Acceptance. I don't judge, and I don't hold back.

I've been reminded just how small high school is. It's not the end of anything, and these people aren't the only people I'll ever meet. It's just a little taste of what life might be like. 

Last year I felt like I knew it all. Now it feels like I don't know anything. But that's okay. You can only change an empty cup into an open one.

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