"I don't think that being a strong person is about ignoring your emotions and fighting your feelings. Putting on a brave face doesn't mean you're a brave person. That's why everybody in my life knows everything that I'm going through. I can't hide anything from them. People need to realise that being open isn't the same as being weak."

- Taylor Swift

Thursday, June 14, 2012

persona.

Now Playing: In My Place (Live) by Coldplay (if you go, if you go, leave me down here on my own, then I'll wait for you)

I think sometimes people confuse me with Lady Solitaire.

I hope that doesn't sound weird, but Lady Solitaire is a persona. It is just a part of me. Somewhat angrier, a little bolder, much more cynical. It's a projection of my very dry sense of humour and my rather dramatic personality.

Most of the stuff I write about is true; things I notice, opinions I have, emotional rollercoasters. Some things, you must understand, are part narrative. Writing is all about being engaging, and if I just gave you an account of day to day life, well, that would be a little boring, wouldn't it? So some things are exaggerated, compressed. People in my life are pulled apart and teased up with my own analysis, my own observations and things I just infer and imply. Sometimes I compress time elapse, or combine two things that may have happened into one, or just pick things out for effect. It's not lying, not really. I'm the one with the blog, so it's my version of the truth that is out there. 

I've just gotten my English exam back, and I'm in the middle of one of my highs, exacerbated and prolonged by just a little gloating ;P. A lot of people are afraid of English exams, because they are very difficult to prepare for and it's hard to anticipate what to expect. But I love English exams. I work very hard in them and they are quite intense, but they're refreshing and...I have so much fun writing them! I guess I've just gotten to the stage where I'm willing to take risks, and those risks pay off.

Being a blogger definitely helps. It's helped me develop the kind of writing people wish they have, or think they have, but don't - the ability to be engaging, to break the rules, to write something people are willing to read. I always keep that in mind; somebody has to read my exam, I might as well make it as entertaining as possible. This is especially true in the writing section where, if you choose the right question, you can write whatever the hell you want. It's super fun! I...normally write blog posts.  I'm in my element, not many people do it, and it's not cliched or boring. I can make it interesting.

At some point after the school year ends I will be publishing some English stuff I have done. Mostly because English assigments are really interesting, and I always aim to write interesting stuff in English assignments. Partly because I would like to have examples of what standards are expected of a high end (I'm not being glib, just...honest) student, and to give other students advice and inspiration; I'll pull it all apart for you. When I write in exams, I simply aim the write the best that I can, and I'll draw from anything to get that.

If I mention anyone, or anything, in any of my writing, and you know I've fudged the details, cut me a little slack. I'm a writer. I see things the way I see things, and I write things the way I write things. I would never invade anyone's privacy; everything is anonymous. So, please, let me have my fun.  

1 comment:

Adelaide Dupont said...

Yes, written engagement is important. It's often easy to tell when someone has had fun and is willing to go in deep - and that can often be done through a persona or in that sort of context.

The thing about highlighted traits like the boldness and the cynicism - "heightened" would also work there too.

And what is the sense in only writing as yourself, or the self others seem to know or construct when they think of you?

It does give people a sense of appreciation, which is not so connected to a particular person. It's when they engage with the writing (and this applies in fiction and non-fiction) rather than with the person.