Now Playing: Warrior by Mark Foster, A-Trak and Kimbra (they wanna take our light, make us fight, but never cry for the ones you love)
A school in Victoria has imposed a temporary (well, they say temporary, but it's more like 'indefinite') ban on physical contact. Which means, unbelievably, no hugging, no high fives - the pupils aren't even allowed to play tiggy.
WTF!?!?!?!?!?
Physical contact, and physical intimacy, is part of everyday life. I don't even approve of schools who ban holding hands and kissing, because, ya know, in the big bad world skin on skin isn't exactly illegal. I'm short, and Asian, and a nerd, and a girl. I got pushed around a lot. I survived. Kids are kids, and no blood, no foul.
The school says that this is in response to injuries sustained by rough play. There is a difference between rough play and giving a friend a hug. A teacher should be able to tell the difference between what is friendly and what is not, and to rectify bad behaviour. No. Instead, we are depriving children of the opportunity to develop interpersonal skills and strengthen relationships with touch.
It's the teachers, that's the problem. Teachers are afraid of getting down and dirty, they don't think it's their duty and responsibility to ensure safety in the schoolyard. Responsible supervision, and a graceful acceptance that kids will be kids and boys will be boys, is the only way to prevent injuries, not banning children from touching each other. I remember when my primary school was refurbished and some tables and chairs were put in around the grounds (before then we had to eat on the floor, outside, which I personally find a little distateful) we weren't allowed to eat at them, only to 'play on them' (who plays on tables and chairs when there are playgrounds!?). The reason? The teacher on duty for first lunch, which is when we all have to stay seated, didn't want to walk ten steps to supervise the tables. It is unbelievable how unbelievably fucking lazy teachers are getting. In other cultures, being a teacher is a privilege - you have the right to educate the next generation, to raise and nurture somebody's beloved children. It's not just standing at the front of a classroom talking to a group of stunned kids and then failing all their homework. It is so much more than that.
We are social animals. Physical contact is natural, but it's only ever associated with violence, or sex. I love hugging people. I'd never say no to a hug, or to a high five or a fist bump. I love how so much is said with such simple gestures. When boys say hello or goodbye it's hardly with words at all; I love all the cute salutes and half bows and nods and knowing smiles. I'm a woman of many words, but I've always been amazed how what we do, rather than what we say, speaks mountains on our behalf. We walk down corridors holding hands or linking arms. It's normal and natural and, dare I say it? Healthy. Physical proximity is part of the human experience.
1 comment:
Very true about proximity.
It's a central idea. It seems that schools are promoting academic and intellectual proximity (and often at a distance) at the expense of physical and emotional proximity.
Very true that touch is often connected to emotion, to energy, to purpose. A school where I can touch and be touched is a place where I would be safe and secure, and be remembered and build connections.
That story about the tables! Would the students have eaten in their classrooms before the refurbishment?
Good to see the 'activist' students on the oval staying out beyond their allotted time. Shows that they won't stand for that nonsense, and that if they should get into the teaching profession (very degraded and demeaning at the moment - tense atmosphere).
Really love the way you covered the boys and the way they communicate through touch.
And all that will happen is through waves and other such visual communications?
"Skin on skin isn't exactly illegal out there in the big bad world". Nor is it especially immoral - even though the connections with sex and violence may suggest such. There's a lot of physical contact which has neither violence nor sex as its immdediate or distal purpose, and it's this which should be tolerated at minimum and encouraged.
Safety in the schoolyard is a contract between students, staff (teaching and admistrative), parents and members of the community (who may participate or observe).
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