A Sense of the Ridiculous

Written by my psychopathic loveable friend (what else is there to do in lit class when something is due very very soon?). All characters are fictitious and any resemblance to ANY PERSONS, living or dead, is PURELY, COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY....coincidental....

A Sense of the Ridiculous
By Belephant.

Once upon a time there was a beautiful lady named Kalamata.
She was in love with Sir Grant Hughson, though she believed, “I have not a chance.”

Sir Grant Hughson was also in love with Kalamata, but at the same time, Grant had playboy characteristics and truly desired every woman he saw between the ages of 13 and 47.

Kalamata was an oriental princess of the highest order, with hair of Apple and eyes of diamante. Grant saw her apple hair and diamante eyes and became perplexed and astonished with her buoyant ways.

He told her one day that her buoyancy pleased him, indeed.

He then embraced her apple hair and washed it with his tears over his stinky affection with other women getting in the way of their true love.

Lady Princess Kalamata told Grant that he must truly choose – her own luscious apple hair, or the love of others. Sir Grant was shocked – he had never been asked to choose before!

Sir Grant fell to the floor, fainting with the horror of such an idea.

Kalamata was appalled with his weakling-like behavior, knelt to the ground where he lay and slapped him across the face in repulsion. With this, Grant awoke suddenly, being calmed by the furious, passionate face of Kalamata that he loved so well. “It is you that I choose, lady Kalamata. Your fire lights my soul with fire.”

But Kalamata was not to have it. “Sir Grant, you art an undesirable man, due to your complete and utter lack of dignity and integrity. Thou hast fainted at the thought of choosing me!” And with that, Lady Kalamata walked away from her knight in shining armor.

But Grant would not allow his heart to be broken thus. He climbed upon his white steed, chasing Kalamata down the hill. He grasped her by the clothes and lifted her upon his steed. Making use of his chocolate brown eyes of the puppy dog, he embraced Kalamata in a passionate hug. He halted his steed, dismounted, and knelt to the ground. “Kalamata, it is you who I love. None other can compare. Wilt thou marry me?”

And in view of his melty-welty ways and Kalamata’s softy-wafty heart, the Lady Princess was softened. She too dismounted, meeting her Knight’s lips in a deep love that would last forevermore.