"I don't think that being a strong person is about ignoring your emotions and fighting your feelings. Putting on a brave face doesn't mean you're a brave person. That's why everybody in my life knows everything that I'm going through. I can't hide anything from them. People need to realise that being open isn't the same as being weak."

- Taylor Swift

Saturday, June 02, 2012

Now is Beautiful.

Now Playing: Yellow by Coldplay (look at the stars, look how they shine for you and everything you do)

I think year twelve is screwing with my head.

I never used to think of myself as a risk taker. Well, I took academic risks. I gleefully burned all my math books.

But apart from that, I used to be what you might call quite...conservative.

But there's something about thrill-seeking, doing something you know you'll probably regret later, living in the now and worrying about the consequences if and when they come...it's luxurious. I love it.

That's not to say that I've lost my virginity whilst completely high/zoned/stoned/drunk/etc or tried marijuana, because I haven't. I said that I'm reckless, not stupid. I'm talking of a distinctly more tame but nonetheless deliciously exciting kind of pleasure. Living in the moment. Throwing your head back and laughing. Savouring every bite, every deep gulp of something hot and spicy and delicious. Licking your fingers, one by one. Wearing something lacy that nobody's ever gonna see. Basking in the glow of a comment nobody else will ever read. Twirling around in that new dress for no apparent reason, before putting it back on the hanger, dragging on your tatty pjs and going to bed.

It's so easy to forget to live in the here and now. I used to spend all my life wondering what life will be like in the future. I forgot about now. Now is beautiful.

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