Now Playing: Balbambalbam by Hong Gwang Ho

How do you dance with someone?

I don't actually know how to dance; not properly, anyway. I know (vaguely) those weird barnyard dances that they forced us to learn in primary school, but since when are two people expected to move in sync with each other?

I've done my fair share of snowballing. It's not that fun. I remember in primary school at discos all the girls used to chase the boys relentlessly (and rather fruitlessly) for a dance. Ah, memories.

First off, I have a rather annoying penchant for crushing on the most popular of boys, who, bien sur, dance with the most popular of girls. More often than not I find myself awkwardly swaying from side to side in the arms of a gangly, nervous dude with a twitch, a constant babble of nonesensical mutter and sweaty hands. I swear to God, if I don't get one decent slow dance before graduation I'm going to cry.

Where are you supposed to look? I'm about a head shorter than most guys I know, even in heels, and it is *unbearably awkward* to look up and...gaze into a pair of eyes that are floating somewhere in the stratosphere above your head. I normally end up looking at my feet, at my feet stepping on his feet, or over my shoulder trying to see my friends.

Which has other problems, of course, because it's always me that ends up surrounded by snogging couples. AWKWARD.

 Do you talk? Don't you talk? What do you talk about? Is it polite or insensitive if he starts talking over your head to other people? (actually, people do that to me a lot.)

Why is it in sixteen years that I haven't had one, proper, non-cringeworthy dance????