"I don't think that being a strong person is about ignoring your emotions and fighting your feelings. Putting on a brave face doesn't mean you're a brave person. That's why everybody in my life knows everything that I'm going through. I can't hide anything from them. People need to realise that being open isn't the same as being weak."

- Taylor Swift

Saturday, May 05, 2012

since when was attention such a bad thing?

Now Playing: 'Violet Hill' by Coldplay

I love attention, I'll admit it. I think about so many people in so many different ways, I would love to think that someone is thinking of me. Which is why I love flirting, male company, etc. I love awards and rewards and recognition. Living and learning is an art, and the best art gets prizes. If I pretend to get all shy/awkward/embarassed/nonchalant, that's just it - I'm pretending, so that people don't say that I'm a show off or whatever. But really, I'm floating on clouds.

I am a writer. Writing is a profession in which you have to hold people's attention; make money out of someone's fascination, curiosity, etc. It doesn't matter if I'm the next JK Rowling if I keep my work under lock and key and present to the world a masquerade of utter mediocrity. It is with this same principle that I'll wear party dresses to the shops. Some things are made to be seen.

Why do we deny ourselves the joy of life? If I have done something, or if I become someone, to attract attention, why should I run away from that?

I'm not going to be a wallflower. I'm not going to blend into the background.

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